


whether near or far, i am always yours

by allornothing



Series: does your mother tell you things long, long when i'm gone? [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, i promise there are happier days ahead, sorry for the heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 08:55:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14209626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allornothing/pseuds/allornothing
Summary: The worst was the streets of the city. The ones that were still covered with snow because the snow blowers weren’t out yet and because no one dared driving considering the light snow would probably soon turn into a heavy snowstorm.Once he got on the highway, the road conditions were much better. Which is probably why people were less careful with their driving. People were still speeding, passing him at 20 kilometres over the limit. And that’s the reckless behaviour that caused one driver to lose control over his vehicle. Scott barely had time to react when he saw the car that was heading straight for him.





	whether near or far, i am always yours

"One last time and we’re good for the day." Scott said to Katie and Alex, one of the couples he was currently working with. They’d been working on this lift for a few days now, making mistakes in the hold, the transition, the position, every day, there was something wrong but today, they finally got it right and got the hang of it, which made Scott ridiculously proud. “That’s exactly what I want.” He reiterated once they skated back to the boards, on which he was leaning as he recorded them. “Alright, get a good night of sleep and we’ll keep working on that lift tomorrow.” They nodded before grabbing their guards and stepping off the ice.

“See you tomorrow!” They said once they left the building, leaving him alone. He grabbed his bag and turned off the arena lights before leaving the building. He dropped his bag at the back of his car before taking place behind the steering wheel. _God he couldn’t wait to get back home._ He wasn’t the kind of person who was reckless on the road. Especially here and now, in Montreal, with the construction that came to a halt as the winter came, leaving only orange cones scattered through the streets of the city, and the thin layer of ice covered by an inch of snow. He knew he had to be careful mostly because other drivers were not, having spent most of their lives in this weather, in this city, driving in these conditions. So he took his time even though he knew Tessa was waiting for him. He’d explain to her once he got home why he was a few minutes - at least fifteen judging by the snow that was starting to fall – late, tell her that he was just extra cautious because there was a snow storm. It wasn’t a long or a complicated road to get back to their apartment complex. Thirty-five minutes, which would turn into an hour that night. It was okay. The worst was the streets of the city. The ones that were still covered with snow because the snow blowers weren’t out yet and because no one dared driving considering the light snow would probably soon turn into a heavy snowstorm.

Once he got on the highway, the road conditions were much better. Which is probably why people were less careful with their driving. People were still speeding, passing him at 20 kilometres over the limit. And that’s the reckless behaviour that caused one driver to lose control over his vehicle. Scott barely had time to react when he saw the car that was heading straight for him.

_Tessa._

Her name was the first thing to cross his mind as he tried to do a manoeuvre to avoid the collision, hit the gas pedal, the break, pulling the handbrake, releasing it, anything not to get hit. His head was a mess as thoughts of the right manoeuvre started merging with memories of days spent with Tessa. Soon enough though, the lights were more blinding than ever, and he knew it was over. There was no way to avoid the collision.

He now thought only about her. About the feeling of her lips on his – _he’d give anything to kiss her just once more_ , her body pressed against his as they cuddled on the couch watching a movie on Saturday night, their fingers intertwined as they walked down the street, the light of the sun hitting her face on a sunny day spent at the park, her eyes shining like green emerald as he got lost in them. _God how he wished he could’ve been home with her right now, hold her one last time. Look into those gorgeous green eyes for just a minute, etching her face in his mind to make sure he’d remember every single detail in an afterlife he wasn’t even sure he believed in._ If the most trivial details and of their life together flashed through his mind in a matter of seconds, memories of lazy mornings spent in bed, kissing, making love, dreaming of this life they had now created for themselves, squishing their little one in a sandwich-hug, he couldn’t help but think of the most important ones. He could still hear her laugh-cry the way she did when they won their Olympic gold medals, the same sound he now associated with the news of having a baby, having a family of his own, remembered his incredulous face when he saw that picture fall from the card she bought him, card that he read later that night. _Happy first father’s day._ And he’d only live through five of them.

Tessa and her growing bump. Tessa bringing their daughter into the world, her biggest accomplishment. No medal, no Grand Prix Finale, no Olympics could ever compare to that feeling he felt when he saw her hold their baby girl, saw her look at their daughter as she was falling in love with this tiny human, their tiny human. His vision soon became blurred as tears created a veil over his eyes. “ _I love you_ ”, he murmured to the image he saw behind closed eyes as he braced himself for the impact.

**Crash.**

The sound of metal against metal resonated inside the vehicle a split second before his head hit the body of the car.

 _Olivia._ His baby girl. He could see her sleeping safe and sound in her bed, holding her teddy bear close. He’d spent nights leaning against the door frame, watching over her as she fell asleep, keeping the monsters she feared at bay. How could he leave her? He didn’t want her to grow up without her father. He didn’t want her to know loss this early in life, didn’t want her heart to be broken already. Didn’t want to be the cause of tears pricking her eyes and roll down her cheeks as she’d realize he would never come back home. He tried not to think about it, focusing on happier things, but how could he when his breathing became heavier, his head was throbbing, with a sensation of pounding, feeling as if it was about to explode. Think happy thoughts. The first time they laced her skates and held her as she took her first steps on the ice. The first time she said dada, the pride he felt when he realized the word came out of her mouth, how he wanted her to repeat it over and over again. Her first day of school, when she turned her back to them as she headed towards the school bus, looking back at them one last time before climbing the steps and taking a seat next to a window so she could see them as long as possible. Sunday morning spent trying to make shapes out of pancakes – and failing miserably, creating characters with fruits and chocolate spread on her pancakes instead. Sick days spent on the couch watching Disney movies.

He didn’t want this to be the end. He knew he had so much to live for but the voices of strangers who had stopped and rushed to him trying to see if he was still alive, breathing and trying to keep him awake were quickly fading, his eyes shutting as well. He could barely figure out the conversations that were going on. Somebody talking to the emergency dispatcher probably. Someone talking to the passengers of the other vehicle as well, he guessed. _I’m sorry._ He whispered, the words coming out of his mouth in defeat, an apology to everyone he was leaving behind as the strength to keep fighting for his life slowly left his body.

To his friends and family, whom he had seen just a few weeks ago, celebrating the New Year and whom he wouldn’t be there to celebrate with anymore.

To Marie-France and Patrice for letting them deal with the loss of a coach and having to figure out what to do with his skaters now that they had lost the one who was prepping them for upcoming competitions. To the teams he was coaching for not showing up at the next scheduled practice.

To Katie and Alex for not being there the next morning as he told them. Sam and Savannah, Elizabeth, Matthew. Kids he’d leave behind. Kids he’d never see win regionals, nationals, Olympics, because he knew they had the talent to get there.

To Olivia, for being absent in crucial moments of her life, for not being there at daughter-father dances, for not scaring boyfriends off, for not protecting her of everything evil in this world, for missing her wedding and not holding her at the first dance in her wedding day.

To Tessa for… Where to start? There was so much he felt the need to apologize for. The abrupt end of this partnership of thirty years. Leaving her alone to raise their daughter. Not being there to make her poached eggs, buy her chocolates, or flowers just because he saw them and thought of her, thought she would like them. Not proposing to her, the little box still hidden in his socks drawer as he waited for the right time to propose. That seemed ridiculous now, waiting for the right time, as if there ever was one, to ask her to be his for the rest of their lives. It was more of a formality than a dreaded moment. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t that in a hurry to get down on one knee and ask for her hand, because they already knew they would be in each other’s life forever. That they were each other’s life. That they couldn’t live without each other even if they wanted too. Now, as he was face to face with death, he wished he made the move, even though it was cliché, this past Christmas in front of their family. Just so she’d still be his, with this ring around her finger, even when he would no longer be there. So she’d have his name just like their daughter did. So the dream he had of seeing her walk towards him in her white dress would have finally come true.

There was so much he wished he did, wished he experienced but just like that, it was over. In a matter of seconds that still felt like hours to him, the life had left his body. The father, the son, the uncle, the coach, the friend that he was, was no longer.

**Author's Note:**

> First off, i'll repeat myself over and over again but thanks guy for reading me, for leaving kudos, for commenting. I really appreciate all of it and it truly means a lot to me. I'm just starting to show my writing to people and to have feedback means the world, especially when it's as positive as it's been. So keep them coming!
> 
> I would apologize though for breaking your heart. (again) I had the idea of writing his death from his perspective but was avoiding it because i knew it would break my heart to work but it's been requested and you have to give the people what they want.
> 
> I promise there will be happier stories coming down the line, as difficult as it is to believe. It's gonna turn out to be okay.
> 
> The title is from The End Of All Things by Panic! At The Disco.


End file.
